"There is Always Something You Can Do" - by Rafaelle Roy

Rafaelle, bottom right, at the HappyTree retreat at Sutton

A mammogram done in October 2009 was found to be 'suspicious', and after what
seemed interminable tests, I was diagnosed with breast cancer in January 2010. Then the pre-op tests showed cancer in the other breast, and finally on March 10 of that year, I went through a radical bilateral mastectomy.

I had been on an emotional rollercoaster, going from one shock to yet another shock for five months, and now I had to learn to live with no breasts, the distressing feeling that I was mutilated, unfeminine, un-attractive. I grieved for those breasts like the old friends that they were. I had anxiety attacks, panic attacks, and I became depressed and could only sleep with the help of pills.

My wonderful family doctor sent me to HappyTree Yoga. Yoga? At age 65? I couldn't picture myself doing the contortions that I thought were yoga. I called you, and you were so welcoming, so reassuring.

HappyTree has brought me so much - a family of sorts, with the gentle yoga group, and women who have gone or are going through breast cancer, and sometimes through treatments that seem scarier and harder than double mastectomy. I love the fun and the camaraderie and the support that we bring each other, the tea we share after yoga practice. I am so grateful for every single member of the staff. Everyone is so helpful, whether it's giving me advice on the best posture to help strengthen my arms, stretch my scar, or helping out with alternative moves when I am stuck. “There is always something
that you can do” is a sentence I've heard a lot, and it is becoming ingrained, a new philosophy of life! I love the spiritual aspect that is always present at HappyTree; it opens my heart and connects me to something greater than myself - or breast cancer.

I have learned to accept myself as I am, and I have taken yoga home with me, using the breathing of yoga to fall asleep, or to calm a moment of anxiety - and I can say without exaggerating that I am my old happy self again. I am creative again, painting up a storm, and going to yoga 4 to 5 days in a week - thanks to your generosity, too, letting me help out as a 'karma yogi' in exchange for more classes that I could not otherwise afford. I am healing, and yoga in the happy, relaxed, accepting atmosphere of HappyTree is a huge part of it.

This healing aspect of yoga is what interests me most. Now that I am semi-retired, I am planning to spend 4 to 5 months in my native Haiti, hopefully every couple of years, and I want to do a teacher training to bring yoga relaxation and fun to children in orphanages. The earthquake of January 2010 has left over 300,000 new orphans, children who I know must be traumatized, and emotionally suffering even far more than I was when facing cancer last year. I would love to attend Nischala Joy Devi's workshops, for myself, but also because I need to learn as much as I can so I can bring something home with me that I KNOW to be wonderful. My cousin Françoise, hearing of my plans, said to me just this week: "You could do yoga with women who suffer from breast cancer
too..." Oh yes.

So many thanks my dear Mel, to you, to CanSupport, and HappyTree Yoga!

Namaste,

Rafaelle